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+++ b/README.md
@@ -1,11 +1,25 @@
-# NixTypes (nt)
+# ❄ NixTypes (nt) ❄
+<p align="center">Because Nix doesn't hold your hand here, it shoots your fingers off and spits out the world's longest stack trace...</p>
 
+>[!WARNING]
+> ✨ **Under Construction** ✨
+> NixTypes is quite a large project to do alone, but it's been staring at me for the last 12 months.
+> If you're interested feel free to contact me and/or submit pull requests :yellow_heart::yellow_heart:
+> **Be not afraid!** It's only a matter of time until NixTypes is ready for use!
 
-## Conventions
-1. Avoid the `with` keyword like your life depends on it!!
-      Every LSP I've tried has handled them terribly. Not to mention it absolutely
-      pollutes the scoped namespace ;-; Just stick to writing out `let ... in`. And **iff**
-      you **absolutely** need it to condense code in a meaningful way, then isolate its
-      use to a very **very** small scope. Not your entire file!
-2. All names/identifiers should be written in **camelCase**, except *"Types"* (aka specifically structured attribute sets).
-      Which should be written in **PascalCase**. **Typeclasses** should be written in **PascalCaseWithApostrophe'**.
+## 💙 Huh?
+Nix has no type system duh!? Sure that's fine for configuring your distro,
+but what about developing in Nix itself? The code people write tends to be unnecessarily complex
+or full or bugs. Nix needs standards, and NixTypes gives you those.
+
+## :rainbow: More Than Types
+NixTypes isn't *exactly* just a type system. **You didn't think I'd give you types
+then say goodbye did you?** Then we'd be right back where we started... Instead
+there's a whole standard library built from the ashes.
+
+Some of the sweet sweet batteries included:
+1. **Pattern Matching** (finally!!)
+2. **Attribute Set Parsing**
+3. **Pretty Printing** (no more `builtins.toString` errors)
+4. **A Module System** (say goodbye to managing all your `imports`)
+5. **Types, Types, & More Types** (Maybe/Some/None, Monads, Tree, Rose, etc)